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This business coaching episode is about ways to effectively deal with coworkers.

Results-Focused Training, Tools, and Workshops from Expert Business Coaches.

Featured Coaching Excerpt - Notes & Transcript, Part 1
  • Mystic Statistic: "Half of workers in large companies don't like their coworkers." -NY Post
  • Mystic Statistic: "35% of employees leave due to 'internal politics.'" -Forbes
  • Lesson Nugget: Unless the majority of the work at your company or business is fully automated, you are going to have to deal with other humans in order to get ahead.
  • Mystic Statistic: "Two million Americans are voluntarily leaving their jobs every month." -Forbes

dealing with coworkers video like coursera, grow your business

-Hey, this is Daniel McKenna, and today we are here with Caleb Taylor and Clay Clark, talking about dealing with coworkers. If you can learn how to deal with those people that are working around you, you can better situate yourself to be next in line for that promotion. Today Clay is going to give you specific action steps on how to deal with your coworkers as your grow your business. So let's all gather around the water cooler and jump right on into this lesson.

-Clay Clark, how are you, my friend?

-I am excited to be talking today about dealing with workers, co-workers. Buddies. Teammates.

-Workers working with workers.

-Workers working with workers.

-That's exciting. That's what we're doing today.

-We're working with you to talk about working with the workers who you work with.

-I love working with you. That's great. We work well together when we're working here.

-That's one thing we'll do. We'll work it out.

-Here's the issue, though. A lot of people don't work well while they're working together with coworkers.


-Yeah. It's true. There's a big issue. A huge issue, actually. I saw a statistic, actually, New York Post, that actually said half of workers in large companies don't like their coworkers. And if we're just still piling on here, US Department of Labor Bureau and Labor Statistics says two million Americans are voluntarily leaving their jobs every month, and 35% of employees leave due to internal politics.

So, you know, I'm not a math wizard, but I just kind of jotted some stuff down here. That equates to about 8.4 million jobs per year, people leaving because of internal politics. That's huge.

-Huge, man.

-Why is this-- you travel around the world, you talk with event-- you know, you work with all these owners of companies, managers of people, and individual employees. Is this true? Is this as big of a problem than it seems like it is right now?

-Well, I'm going to show you real quick. I'm oversimplifying, but I'm going to give you your five characters that you see at most offices, OK?


-And I think when you see these five, you'll go OK, I get it. You've got sensitive, sensitive Sam.


-He is so sensitive. He is just-- he's a crier.


-He's going to cry at any given time. He's just like, I just-- no one's talking to me. Sensitive Sam. Then over here you've got likes to fight guy.

-OK. Likes to fight guy.

-Now, likes to fight guy, he's angry. At any point he could explode. He's just got-- he's like, are you kidding? Are you-- every time. Then you've got captain fun.


-Now captain fun is kind of like-- he's wearing, like, a birthday hat. He's like, hey, it's someone's birthday. Let's celebrate. It's someone's birthday. Hey, look, it's President's Day. It's-- it's the month before Christmas. What are we going to do to celebrate Christmas? It's the month after Christmas. Hey, did you guys know it's the new solstice? Did you guys know it's a full moon tonight? Let's have a party. Right? You have that guy, right?

-Then you have the money guy. He says, shut up. I'm here for the money.


-You shut up, I'm here for the money. I'm here for the money, and I want you to stop crying. Let's make some money.



-Are the birthday guy?

-Then, then you've got the guy who just wants to marinate. OK?


-So this is the marination guy, and he's like, hey guys, did you know-- you know, he's usually got kind of a Ted Koppel haircut. He's got kind of a Ted Koppel. It's kind of a parting over to this side. He's like, hey, guys, did you know that last night our president give an awesome address? And you're like, no, I didn't. And he's like, yeah, and did you guys know that the square root of-- and you're like, no, I didn't. Did you guys know that the equator is exactly 100 miles from Michigan?

And you're like, what? Oh, I just-- interesting to me. Interesting fact. And so you have these five personalities that are coming to work every day. And there's some different ones, too, but these are kind of the five I see a lot. And so what happens is if you're a leader, or you want to be a leader, you might go, well, I kind of focus on the money. I want to make money, but I also want to be the fun guy.

And you're trying to deal with people who only care about fun, or only care about fighting, or only care about-- and that's, like, your characters. These are kind of these characters. And then you have this one little guy working-- I call it normal, which is not normal.


-This is kind of 20% of the office, who is there to get stuff done.


-And they don't really care about the politics. They just want to get something done.

-OK, so let me ask you this. If I care about advancing my career, I'm a thriver watching right now, my goal is to move up, dominate. I want to do that. Why do I need to be great at dealing with coworkers? Why does this matter? Why should we spend any time on this at all?

-Well, there is one-- I watched an awesome documentary last night about how they make these skyscrapers.


-And there's one company who built a skyscraper. It's in London, and it's a building that's shaped like-- it's kind of shaped-- I'm going to get the name of the building wrong, but it's shaped like this, and it has a steel exoskeleton, and it's got glass on it, and it's this building-- it's shapeless. They built it in downtown London, and it only takes six workers and one crane to build this massive skyscraper.


-Because it was pre-assembled off-site.


-So they've automated the whole system so it doesn't require a ton of humans to build it.


-And unless you're going to automate your system or deal with robots, you know, where you just hit the button and they go-- beep boop beep boop boop. And you're like, oh, cool, thanks, R2-D2, that was great.


-Unless you've got C-3PO running around, R2-D2, unless you've got that whole, you know, Johnny 5 is alive, you've got that whole, like, Back to the Future kind of computer, unless you're in the movie Tron, unless--

-You've got to be able to do that.

-Yeah. Otherwise you're going to be-- I mean, unless you can just replace humans, which is not possible, you're going to be


Grow Your Business with Mentors Like Clay Clark

Featured Coaching Excerpt - Notes & Transcript, Part 2
  • Success Principles: 1. Be Thankful for the Easy Differentiator
  • Lesson Nugget: Getting your work done and being consistently on time to your job will allow you to stand out from most of your underachieving coworkers.
  • Lesson Nugget: Be thankful for your underachieving coworkers, because they are making it easier for you to stand out for promotions and raises.
  • Lesson Nugget: Don't get mad at your coworkers and let them affect your emotional state.
  • Ask Yourself: What is my personality type?
  • Action Step: Figure out and write down the names of the people in your office and what their personality type is and determine how to treat them.
  • "By establishing a reputation as being a person who always renders more service and better service than that for which you are paid, you will benefit by comparison with those around you who do not render such service, and the contrast will be so noticeable that there will be keen competition for your services, no matter what your life-work may be.” -Napoleon Hill (Author of 'Think and Grow Rich' the bestselling self-help book of all time.

-So as somebody that has promoted people, you have tons of employees and a bunch of different businesses. Do you consider "I would like to move this person up to become a leader in this area, but I don't think that they know how to work well with people"? Does that weigh into your decision?

-I just had a conversation last week with somebody who gets their job done accurately half the time. Half the time they're 100% accurate. And I was saying, hey, we need you to improve in these areas so you can get promoted. And it's like the fight guy. "Are you kidding me? Do you know what I do here?" And right away, you realize-- this is not a promotable person. We all tend to do a few of these things. So what you want to do is ask yourself-- which one of these personalities are you? Go ahead and write down the names of the people you work with that fit these categories. Who's your sensitive person? Who's the captain fun? Who are these people? And then begin to think about how am I going to treat these people?

-This is a huge problem. Let's dive into it, then. What we're going to be talking about today-- we've got three principles. The first one is be thankful for the easy differentiator. The second one is don't let them contaminate you. That's bad. Third one is view them as your mission field.

You just like making that sound, don't you?

-When you do it three times, you want to do it a fourth time.

-That makes sense. I didn't even think about that. Principle number 1 here-- be thankful for the easy differentiator. We got a notable quotable here. Napoleon Hill, he's one of the most successful authors as far as self-help books. Over 70 million copies sold.


-Kind of a big number. This is what he says: "By establishing a reputation as being a person who always renders more service and better service than that for which are paid, you will benefit by comparison with those around you who do not render such service, and the contrast will be so noticeable that there will be keen there will be keen competition for your services, no matter what your life-work may be."

So he's saying, if you overdeliver, you're going to stand apart so far that people will be competing just to have your service.

-A lot of times, companies get acquired. A company gets purchased. It gets bought; it gets sold. Whatever. The new owner comes in and goes who here has their stuff together? And they'll go OK, we got normal guy here. OK, let's promote him. You stand out, because the other 80% of the staff is nuts, and you've got 20 percent that's doing the job that's very stable. And you stand out. It's easy to get promoted. People just promote you because there's rumors that you're normal.

-So that's the first principle.

-It's easy to get promoted. You just show up on time every day. Think about this. This is amazing. I talked to a guy years ago who owns a bank, and he said, "If you show up to work every day this year on time, and you do your job, you are going to be one of five people in my organization of 200 people who have done that, and therefore you will get a raise."

-That's crazy.

-If that's all you do-- show up on time and do your job. It's amazing how hard it is for people-- people sprinting into work. I'm sure you've seen this. I know I shouldn't do this, because it makes the camera crew crazy-- but the guy who sprints in. He's like "You wouldn't believe traffic!" Did you run in traffic? Were you running past other cars? Is that how you got to work?

I had a guy literally tell me, "Bro, my car quit working, so I had to skateboard in. I'm sorry I'm two hours late." I swear to God. He said, "I had to skateboard in to work." You're like-- you skateboarded in to work? Come on! It's so stupid! If your car doesn't work, first off, leave an hour. If you know it takes you 10 minutes to get to work, leave an hour before. Then, when you have a car problem, call someone and tell them, "Hey, boss-- I want you to know. It's an hour before work, and my car doesn't work. I just wanted you to know." But don't run in. You know the person who's running into the office meeting is someone who left 20 minutes late, and they had normal traffic, but then they just put it off on traffic.

-Let me ask you this. How does this principle being thankful for the easy differentiator apply to dealing with coworkers?

-Instead of getting upset, just thank them. Thank you for being a jackass! Thank you for being stupid! Thank you for wanting to fight! Thank you for being dumb! Thank you for not studying!

-So really, you shouldn't get too worked up here.

-I love it! As a speaker, it's the best. It's a feast! You go in to speak, and I'll get a guy who speaks before me who goes, "Guys, I didn't really prepare today for today's talk. I got put in charge of the-- I was the chairman. Last year, Susie--" and you're gone "What?" "Last year, Susie was the chairman, and this year I am, and I got to tell you guys-- this date just crept up on me. So I don't have a whole lot prepared. So I'm just going to go off the cuff." And we're like-- we know!

And if I get up to speak, I can be the crappiest speaker ever, but I'm not that bad. It's like comparing a guy's who's in prison for a violent crime with Satan. By comparison, you're like-- I'll take him! It just is a great deal. Don't get mad at him! Don't get mad! Don't let him take that emotion. I'm harping on this because there's so many right now who need to hear this. Don't let him take your emotional mojo.

Featured Coaching Excerpt - Notes & Transcript, Part 3
  • Freaky Factoid: "Studies have found many health problems related to stress. Stress seems to worsen or increase the risk of conditions like diabetes, heart disease, Alzheimer's disease, and depression." -Webmd.com
  • Lesson Nugget: Without dysfunctional people, there would be no one who needed to be led. Their dysfunction is what allows you the opportunity to be promoted into leadership.
  • Notable Quotable: "Forgiveness is not for the person you are forgiving, it is for you."
  • “When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.” -Dale Carnegie(Author of bestselling book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People")
  • Success Principles: 2. Don't Let Them Contaminate You


-Don't get upset. I remember I was talking to a lady the other day. She's a wife, neat lady. I was talking to her and her husband. She's like, all the moms at the school are so mean. And I'm like, be thankful!

MAN: Yeah.

-Be thankful they're all hateful. You stand out as a bright spot. You're a shining light.

MAN: Right.

-Don't get mad. Don't let them take your joy.

MAN: Right.

-Just bring your energy and try to create that momentum.

MAN: Right.

-If there wasn't anybody who needed to be led, there would be no leadership positions.

MAN: Right.

-And let me tell you what, people pay a lot of money to leaders to lead people.

MAN: Yeah. Yup.

-If people could just naturally-- if these crazy people weren't doing their normal dysfunction, they wouldn't need you.

MAN: Right.

-If organizations were naturally organized, right, they wouldn't need someone to do that. They wouldn't need leaders. So I'm just telling you, it's very, very important for you to be thankful. Don't be upset. Don't let them take any of your joy.

MAN: I love it. Be thankful-- that's huge. It goes right into this second one too when you were talking about not losing joy. The second principle is don't let them contaminate you. Don't let them contaminate you.


-Yeah, that's where we got that sound from earlier. I'm sorry. I have a "notable quotable" here, though, from Dale Carnegie. He wrote the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This is what he says.

MAN: Oh, yeah.

-So if you let some of these, you know, crazy people that you've written out here, the angry person, the fun-- these people that just make you mad--

-Oh, gosh--

-If they actually affect your emotional state here--

-I have to tell you what I tell myself--

-What happens? I'm a person who is kind of a prayerful guy. I do pray. I don't go to a house of worship and pray a lot there. I go to those places. But I'm kind of in a constant state of prayer. But the other day, I literally-- there was somebody who was being such a moron, that I literally was like, I want to thank you for this idiot. Because if there wasn't this idiot, I would not have this level of leadership. I wouldn't have this consulting job if this person wasn't such a moron.

MAN: Right.

-I am so thankful for their idiot-ness. It was awesome.

-That's ridiculous.

-Oh, yeah.

-But what happens-- how may times-- you're consulting. You work with these clients. They've got their own employees that they deal with. How often do you see somebody whose emotional state has just been wrecked? They've been contaminated by people they hate, people they're frustrated by.

-Due to legalities and various potential legalities, I won't disclose the specifics of this situation. However, I had a partner years ago screwed me over bad.

MAN: Yeah.

-You know, just took my stuff, maxed out credit cards in my name, did some bad things. I had to pay all the investors back. And I was so mad.

MAN: There's a little "Ample Example" for us.

-Yeah. I mean, it was just real talk.

MAN: It's crazy.

-And I was mad, and I was like, I remember calling and being like, you need to pay me back.

MAN: Yeah.

-You need to pay me. I remember going to the house. I remember calling him, writing letters, talking to the attorney, having the attorney write letters. You need to pay me back. And the whole time, he was like, not gonna do it. You know what just happened about three weeks ago? If finally had to just give it. If you don't believe in giving it to God, I would just encourage you to write your issues on the water's edge. So when the sea comes over each morning, when the tide comes in and washes it away--

-What if you live in like a landlocked area?

-You want to go to the rock. You want to find a rock and just beat the rock with a stick.


-Until you no longer have any problems.

-There you go. OK.

-I'm being serious.

-So what happened though?

-So what happens is the guy comes to me, and he says, this is what you learned. And he goes, I have literally had ulcers and like, hard time sleeping because I felt so bad about what I did to you in your life.

MAN: Wow.

-And I would like to ask you-- this is like seven years later, eight years later. I would like forgiveness. And I'm like, you want forgiveness? He was like, yeah. He's like, I just felt so awful.

MAN: Offer the money back, or just wanting forgiveness?

-He just felt bad about everything. He's like, I honestly have cancer, and I've been going through stomach problems. And it's just wrecked. And the doctors will tell you, just so you know, I mean, a lot of cancer, a lot of heart disease, a lot of ulcers, stomach problems are caused by being stressed. And I said hey, you know, I forgive you.

MAN: Yeah.

-And, you know, if you want to restore me financially and pay me back for things, that's up to you.

MAN: Yeah.

-But I forgive you.

MAN: That's huge.

-And I'm just telling you. I though carried that hate for about a year. And it honestly ate-- I couldn't sleep, man.

-How does this affect your dealing with coworkers if you're contaminated? What happens when you're trying to coexist and deal with other coworkers?

-Well, forgiveness is not for the person you're forgiving. It's for you. So when you forgive someone, when you say, hey, I forgive you, don't let the person who's offending you be in control of your life. I mean, if someone offends you, if they lied to you, if they stole from you, they cheated, they did something awful, don't let them take your joy and your stuff. Just immediately, before they even ask for forgiveness-- by the way, they're not gonna usually ask for forgiveness.

MAN: Right.

-Usually they're so steeped in justification, and idiocy, and poor mindsets, that they're never going to ask for forgiveness. But you just go hey, I forgive you. I remember saying to this guy-- and I'm not making this up. Literally, [INAUDIBLE] from this guy. I said, do you know what? Every day that you had my stuff and you didn't restore it, and even now, every time I think of you, I pray for you and I pray that you'll be abundant, and you'll be successful, and you'll be fine. Every time. You know why? Because I'm not going to let you take my joy. And he was like, I am so sorry. And honestly, we had this talk. And it was unbelievable how the guilt he had was eating him.

MAN: Right.

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